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Eminem

Criminal – Eminem

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I’m actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I’ll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I’m a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I’m a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I’m a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That’ll stab you in the head
whether you’re a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress – hate fags? The answer’s “yes”
Homophobic? Nah, you’re just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That’s my motherfuckin balls, you’d better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you’ll never get hold of em
Hey, it’s me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the ‘male’?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C’mon!– Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife’s sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can’t reach me, my mom can’t neither
You can’t teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain’t able to stop these thoughts
You can’t stop me from toppin these charts
And you can’t stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it’s just little ol’ me
Mr. “Don’t Give A Fuck,” still won’t leave

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[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

I’m a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it’s a crime
to tell em what’s on my mind – I guess I’m a CRIMINAL
but I don’t gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don’t take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs – tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out – disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don’t dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I’m a CRIMINAL – an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren’t raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you’d wanna fuck me up for sayin the word nigga
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don’t ignore me, you won’t avoid me
You can’t miss me, I’m white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I’m the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain’t happened to him
Slim Shady, I’m as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined – [*kch*] the maniac’s in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn’t make it today
He’s a little under the weather, so I’m takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that’s Dre with an AK to his face
Don’t make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should’ve kept that thang put away
I guess that’ll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I’m a CRIMINAL

READ  Still Don't Give A Fuck - Eminem

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I’ll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don’t kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright… god damn, fuck…
(whistling) how you doin’?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won’t kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don’t kill me
[Eminem] I’m not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around…
[Teller] Don’t kill me, please don’t kill me…
[Eminem] I said I’m not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I’ll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I’ll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy’s lucky I didn’t blast his ass yet [*dog whines*]
If I ever gave a fuck, I’d shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain’t brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it’s not a rapper that I make it as
I’ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

READ  Cleanin Out My Closet - Eminem

[Chorus 2X]

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Eminem

Cleanin Out My Closet – Eminem

Where’s my snare, I have no snare in my headphones, there ya’ go, yeah, yo’, yo’…

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, i’ve been protested and demonstrated
against, picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times, sick is the mind of the
motherfuckin’ kid that’s behind, all this commotion, emotions run deep as ocean’s explodin’,
tempers flaring from parents, just blow ’em off and keep goin’, not takin’ nothin’ from no one,
give ’em hell long as i’m breathin’, keep kickin’ ass in the mornin’, an’ takin’ names in the
evening, leave ’em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth, see they can trigger me but
they’ll never figure me out, look at me now, I bet ya’ probably sick of me now, ain’t you mama,
i’ma make you look so ridiculous now…

[CHORUS]

I’m sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m
cleanin’ out my closet, {one more time}, I said i’m sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I
never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m cleanin’ out my closet…

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don’t know if no one knows it, so before they thrown me
inside my coffin and close it, i’ma expose it, i’ll take you back to ’73, before I ever had a
multi-platinum sellin’ Cd, I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months, my faggot father
must have had his pantie’s up in a bunch, cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye,
no I don’t on second thought, I just fuckin’ wished he would die, I look at Hailie and I
couldn’t picture leavin’ her side, even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I’d try, to make it
work with her at least for Hailie’s sake, I maybe made some mistakes but i’m only human, but i’m
man enough to face them today, what I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest
shit I did was take them bullets out of that gun, cause id’a killed ’em, shit I would have shot
Kim and him both, it’s my life, i’d like to welcome y’all to the Eminem show…

READ  Soldier - Eminem

[CHORUS]

Now I would never diss my own mama just to get recognition, take a second to listen for you
think this record is dissin’, but put yourself in my position, just try to envision witnessin’
your Mama poppin’ prescription pills in the kitchen, bitchin’ that someone’s always goin’
through her purse and shits missin’, going through public housing systems, victim of
Munchausen’s syndrome, my whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn’t ’til I grew
up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya’ stomach, doesn’t it, wasn’t it the reason you made
that Cd for me, ma, so you could try to justify the way you treated me, ma, but guess what, your
gettin’ older now and it’s cold when your lonely, and Nathan’s growing up so quick, he’s gonna
know that your phoney, and Hailie’s getting so big now, you should see her, she’s beautiful, but
you’ll never see her, she won’t even be at your funeral, see what hurts me the most is you won’t
admit you was wrong, bitch, do your song, keep tellin’ yourself that you was a mom, but how dare
you try to take what you didn’t help me to get, you selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin’ burn in
hell for this shit, remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me, well guess
what, I am dead, dead to you as can be…

[CHORUS]

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Eminem

Searchin’ – Eminem

(feat. Danaun Porter)
[Women Singing:]
Ain’t no one special, special like you (4X)
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (4X)

[Verse 1: Eminem]
I’m reminiscing on your tenderness and the snuggling and teasing
Missing what I remember, kissing and hugging and squeezing
Bugging and weezing, I’m having trouble when breathing
It’s even tougher when sleeping
But there’s a couple of reasons that I’m suffering and grieving
For loving and leaving, you all I’m thinking of in the evening
You got my knees buckling and weakening
Thoughts of nothing but freaking that I’m struggling to keep in
And interrupt when I’m speaking
I got some game that I’m preparing to run
The way your lips sparkle and glare in the sun
You got your hair in a bun, no matter what you’re wearing you stun
Cause your comparing to none, I wanna share in the fun
I feel a passionate lust when I’m imagining just us alone at last with a
touch
I see you grasping to trust, but my intentions are good
The seed is passing in dust
I’m not asking to rush and answer immediately
I just wanna be there for you and you to be there for me
If you agree to repeat after me, I Love You (I love you baby)
Cause I just need you to see, how much I’m eager to be
Your man legally wed, your love’s keeping me fed
This is easily said, so you can lead or be led
If you care to be down cause ain’t nobody Like you no where to be found

READ  Just Don't Give A Fuck - Eminem

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (4X)

[Verse 2: Denaun Porter]
Baby it’s all on you, it’s you I call on boo
Let’s set a day up so you can fall on through
We’ll take a spin in a Lexus you can chill for dinner and breakfast
Long enough to see how this gentleman sex’es
We’ll start it out with caviar, Don Parigne
And then when it’s a fact we are warm, carry on
We’ll take it slow, see nobody will hurry things
I got the herbs the Bacardi and Hurricane
If Daiquiris are in debate and not your thing that day
It’s still all right cause I got Minute Maid and Tangeray
Your an incredible one that’s rare, in bed with edible underwear
You look impeccable, nothing compares
I dream of freaking you, the women that will speak it too so
It seems that there is not an end to things that we can do so
Now we all set to play, only thing left to say is
When you step away, baby but don’t forget the Neglicie

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (8X)
Ain’t no one special, special like you (2X)

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Eminem

Steve Berman (Skit) – Eminem

[Eminem] This muthafucka man…
[Berman] It’s ridiculous! I can’t believe it!! Hold on… Em…
[Eminem] What up?
[Berman] Have a seatDre, I’ll call you back
[Eminem] What now???
[Berman] I don’t even know where to start
[Eminem] Okay…
[Berman] I got the album from upstairs…
[Eminem] And…
[Berman] And this is BY FAR, THE MOST,…
[Gunshot]
Incredible thing… I’ve ever… heard…
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