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Barenaked Ladies

Duct Tape Heart – Barenaked Ladies

It was in pieces ’til this adhesive
Stuck it together, now it beats again
It’s working alright, and it looks tight
A little miracle I’d recommend

I could use another roll, another roll
I could use another roll right now

Stop messing with my duct tape heart
Your best won’t make it fall apart
Because I’ll always have enough, enough
For when I gotta tape it up, it up
Stop messing with my duct tape heart
‘Cos no one’s ever gonna tear that thing apart

A million uses, you know the truth is
There isn’t any heart that it can’t fix
When you went through one, just make a new one??
And make a wallet out of extra bits

I could use another roll, another roll
I could use another roll right now

Stop messing with my duct tape heart
Your best won’t make it fall apart
Because I’ll always have enough, enough
For when I gotta tape it up, it up
Stop messing with my duct tape heart
‘Cos no one’s ever gonna tear that thing apart

Woohoo, woohoo
Woohoo, woohoo

Polyethylene gold, pressure-sensitive tape
It’s tried, it’s true, nothing it can’t do
Fixed the Fender on the rover that was left on the moon
It’s good enough for you

Stop messing with my duct tape heart
Your best won’t make it fall apart
Because I’ll always have enough, enough
For when I gotta tape it up, it up
Stop messing with my duct tape heart
‘Cos no one’s ever gonna tear that thing apart

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Barenaked Ladies

Sell Sell Sell – Barenaked Ladies

The credits roll, the camera pans
And in the mist our hero stands
He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer
An awkward pause, then what’s my line?
There’s nothing left to say this time
And what would you say to a bad guy who’s not there?
In terms of Roman numberals,
He’s IV league with Roman Polanski
He’d win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance

He started on the Broadway stage
A product of another age,
An offer and a pilot drew him west
The series bombed, commercials came
And though nobody knew his name
They all recognized the potential he possessed
Deodorants and dental floss
And how much does that new car cost
His acting was methodical in You Don’t Need A Medical
He’s branded like a racing car,
He’s like a movie star with movies
The week of Independence Day,
The casting agent called to say
Your smile could save our movie and the world

Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who’s foe and who is friend
We’ll own them all in the end

It goes like this, we have no choice; the minarets,
The wailing voice
And vaguely Celtic music fills the air
We choose a foreigner to hate,
The new Iraq gets more irate
We really know nothing about them, and no one cares
Aladdin and the forty thieves
Enhanced by brand new special effects
Saddam and his cow disease spiced up
With some gratuitous sex
A movie’s made, a war is won
A low-speed chase, a smoking gun
Distracts us while the actor takes the stand

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Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who’s foe and who is friend
We’ll own them all in the end

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Barenaked Ladies

The King Of Bedside Manor – Barenaked Ladies

You know he’s not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he’s always ready, he’s always set, he’s always well prepared,
he’s the most peculiar man you’ll ever meet.

[Chorus]
You know he’s not the king of Bedside Manor.
He’s not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He’s not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don’t mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn’t help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Um, I wouldn’t mind riding you bareback.
He’s subtle on the dancefloor and he’s suave around the bar
He’s a quickdraw with a lighter, he’s a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

[Chorus]

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he’s got his health and he knows he can’t complain.

[Chorus]

He’s not the King of Bedside Manor
He’s not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He’s not the king, he’s not the king, he’s not the king of Bedside Manor.

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Barenaked Ladies

Conventioneers – Barenaked Ladies

You walked into the room
And the whole place stopped to notice
Standing next to you, I feel hopeless and you know this
I’ve never been ashamed of my attraction
I’d be happy if you gave me just a fraction
As we danced, I could see in your eyes
You and me as senior citizens in love

I followed your perfume out away from all the rabble
Right up to your room for a drink and travel Scrabble
You, stationed in the warm glow of the t.v.
Too patient as I’m playing L(1)O(1)V(4)E(1)

And we laugh…and we laugh…and we laugh
And we have to or we’ll end up in the bath

Now we’re in the bath, I’m already thinking marriage
I know that in the past it was something I’d disparage
You turned down all the lights, I lit the candles
We rolled around in robes and hotel sandals
Then you slept, and I dressed, and I left
And I guess I’ll see you Monday like before

Before all the fireworks exploded
Our conversations were so loaded, innuendo flying
Now what can we say?
Have a nice day
Looks like rain today…

Now I’m in a cab, heading back to my apartment
Everything is drab, and I wish it never started
Now I’ve landed in this awkward situation
How can I just avoid a conversation?
So I wait, come in late. It’d be great
If you transferred out of state

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