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The Lonely Island

Santana DVX (Feat. E-40) – The Lonely Island

Lirik lagu: Santana DVX (Feat. E-40)

What is that, Cristal? (No!)
Dom P? (Hell no!)
(This is that Carlos Santana champagne!)
Oh shit, Santana DVX? That’s my joint!
(Mine too, but a lot of these busters don’t know about it)

[The Lonely Island]
As a kid, I used to lay awake and think
When was Santana gonna make a drink?
But now I’m all grown and my dream came true
Santana champagne, from here to you
From the heart of Napa Valley and the guitar king
Comes a sparkling wine, to make a blind man sing
Yo it’s the cham-pan-yah, from the man with the bandana
I can’t stand a flute with anything but Santana
What’s the first name in cham – it’s Carlos
And to that man I propose a toast
In the 60’s, he had lots of freebie sex
But now he’s gettin down with the DVX

Excuse me fellas!
Am I to understand that Carlos Santana has made a champagne?
(That’s right motherfucker! Here, try it)
Alright [pops bottle] AWWWWWWWWW SHIT~!

[The Lonely Island]
I feel alive for the first time
Each sip hits my lips like a landmine
Without Carlos in my life I was livin a lie
He makes his guitar weep, but his champagne cries
He’s a Southwest, tie wearin bolo champ
Comin straight out the box with a bolo champ’
Yo he a beast with the sugar and yeast, mix it in pots
Like the way his release mixed jazz blues and pops
And the salsa fusion, he’s lady’s shoe producin
Plus he teamed with Rob Thomas for a music revolution
On the 7th day, it was said God rest
But on the 8th day he made the DVX

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Gentlemen, gentlemen, what is all the hubbub about?
(Carlos Santana!) That’s right
I see bitches-is enjoyin my sparkling wine
(We certainly are) Well be careful
cause this shit’ll get you fucked up

I’m like no other, one of a kind, my sparkling wine
Santana DVX make you wanna have sex (OOOOH)
I’m rich bitch! I’m havin my chips
Get laid all the time, by 70’s chicks – uhh
Won hella Grammies, batches throw me they panties
I’m probably your daddy, I probably nutted in your mammy
I’m a Bay boy, city life, been around the corner
Try to play me foul and my vatos gon’ run up on ya
A legend, a boss, that’s what I are
Ask about me pimp, ‘tana be killin the guitar
Old enough to know better but young enough to not care
I get active – might slap a bitch with my hair (WHIP)
Left coast up top I bang that shit
My sparkling wine’ll pop Cristal on her lip
Cain’t stop, won’t stop gettin my bread
Pack arenas and coliseums now watch me shred

[guitar solo]
Ohhhh, San-tan-tan-tan-ahhhh

[The Lonely Island]
A monkey drank a bottle and learned to speak
A queer drank a bottle and became a freak
A lion drank a bottle and forgot how to growl

A horse drank a bottle, and fucked a cow~!

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The Lonely Island

Hugs (Feat. Pharell Williams) – The Lonely Island

Lirik lagu: Hugs (Feat. Pharell Williams)

[TLI]: Hello?
[Female]: Hi, this is Bridget, should I come over later?
[TLI]: I’m sorry, I don’t know a Bridget
[Female]: Well that’s not what you said when you hugged me last night!
[TLI]: Ha! You think we’re an item just because I gave you a hug? Trick, you better think again

Yo – I’ll hug a girl like it don’t mean nothin’
Then turn around and start huggin’ her cousin
I don’t love ’em, end of the fuckin’ discussion
Got ’em tucked between my wings like Thanksgiving stuffing

She wanna hug from behind – I did it
Then her friend jump in; I’m wit’ it
I hug ’em tighter than a tube top;
After that, it’s just a matter of time
Before the other shoe drop

I get more hugs than Oprah selling drugs
And the drug was pure X – no marriage, no sex.
Just hugs

[Pharrell Williams hook]
Don’t get mad, girl. We get mad girls
And we’re hugging all over the world
So don’t catch feelings, it ain’t love
We’re just the kings of giving out hugs
And if you wanna settle down, you know you got us all wrong
So we move to the next one, no disrespect, hon
But you can’t hug a rolling stone

You can’t hug a rolling stone cause it’ll crush you
Begging me to hug you again? That’s when I shush you
On an airplane, at a Knick game
Feel the same damn thing when I hug them
Which is nothing
Can’t trust them, lose all respect when I hug them.

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Now guess who’s back in the motherfucking house
With a fat hug for your sweater and your blouse
Hugged so many ladies, arms shaky and shit
Because I’m the Wilt Chamberlain of the upper-body grip.(HUGS!)

Cause I get more hugs than a batch of puppy pugs
Sitting on a fluffy rug, getting tickled touched and rubbed
Real talk, like you chatting with a fisherman
Wrap these chicks up like a motherfucking swisher, man

This ain’t love girl, because this hug world
Is just a big Game of Thrones
We be king of the castle, got arms like a lasso.
But you can’t hug a rolling stone.

I been hugging on your mama
Especially when your daddy’s gone
Wearing his pajamas
I know you thinking that is wrong
I don’t care what son does
I’m concentrating on her back
I just wanna hug your mama in her Subaru hatchback.
Put her in a figure-4, yes I’m a hug gigolo
Now she tells her tupperware friends to let their sisters know…

…that I give more hugs than Atlas had shrugs
(Rest my head on her shoulder)
While your man mean mugs

We had fun, girl. But don’t get sprung, girl
Just because I hugged you raw
We can do a group thing, bring Sarah and Susan
And we can have a hug-a-trois.
So quit trying to own my hugs
I gave you these arms on loan
So come give me a hug
The waistline and above
When push comes to shove
You can’t hug a rolling stone

Huggy Bear P, bitches

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The Lonely Island

Boombox (Feat. Julian Casablancas) – The Lonely Island

Lirik lagu: Boombox (Feat. Julian Casablancas)

[The Lonely Island]
Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor kid’s snubbed
The spread is bland sauerkraut and boiled goose
There’s no way these people will ever cut loose

But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next, will blow your mind

[Julian Casablancas]
Everything got outta control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing

[The Lonely Island]
Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around the necks are like a hangman’s noose
In the middle of the table theres a boiled goose

The old people smell makes you want to puke in the sink
These dudes will never dance yeah that’s what you think
I stride in the room all young and hip
Hold up my boombox and say listen to this

[Julian Casablancas]
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced instead of financing
Your preconcieved notions were shattered
By the super old white people dancing

[The Lonely Island]
The big apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who’s got the juice
The street benders peddling their boiled goose

So many types of people will never get along
Till I bust out my boombox and play this song

[Julian Casablancas]
The music washed away all the hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
I saw a spanish guy doing the Bartman

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[The Lonely Island]
Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing there’s no excuse
Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose

So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo base
And what happened next was a total disgrace

[Julian Casablancas]
Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least
A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy

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The Lonely Island

Dreamgirl (Feat. Norah Jones) – The Lonely Island

Lirik lagu: Dreamgirl (Feat. Norah Jones)

(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix)

Some dude once said that love is a many funny things
I know there’s a perfect girl out there for me, cuz I see her
in my dreams

Dream girl, you’re a fantasy, you’re the only one
Out there for me
My love

Dream girl you amaze me all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you you were drivin’ the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl

If you envision in sweats with the neon patch
Half eaten squirrel hangin’ outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female tonto
Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco

Dream girl, you’re a fantasy, you’re the only one
Out there for me
My love

You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City
You like a hot bowl of gritz only way more gritty
Straight drippin’ your turquoise my Santa Fe queen
One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean

It’s music to my ears when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public yo I can’t help but peek
You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backer when you go out to dig

Girl how’d you get those mouse traps glued to your neck
Little rascal, how’d you get screwed to the deck?
You put away slurpees like a trash can

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Your smiles all stainy and your not too brainy and
I like that!

Talking to your shoes lke it’s your friend
I like that!

Yellin’ at the walls of make pretend
I like that!

Tellin’ you to stop it then you don’t
You said you gonna stop it in my sleep
But you won’t!

Last week thought I saw you on the straight turn that was a bag of trash
Just a big ol’ bag of trash
I thought you look like a bag of trash

Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
Your sexy and your spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix
And I always feel safe when I’m in your flesh mitts

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British
Never take the Chex Mix cuz you always get skinnish
Open clamps with both feet cuz your ambidextrous
No point cuz we know you eat nothin’ but Chex Mix

Chex Mix number one food snack in the land
It’s the cereal taste that you eat with your hand
Chex Mix at your local grocer buy your box
Your family will all say

Chex Mix, your the snack for me, your the only one
I’ll ever eat or buy
Chex Mix your delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips
The end

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